Beware of the EXPERIENCE SEEKERS (ES)

This one is simply my favourite. Its so so oh so close to my heart    :-) 

Beware of the EXPERIENCE SEEKERS (ES)!

She is the one who takes you on a joyride! She takes your life and adds so much color to it that you begin to wonder if you were even ‘living’ before you met her. She turns your modest box of dreams into an overfilled piece of luggage with all your dreams literally hanging out for the rest of the world to see. She is the one for you…..or so you think :-)

Geoffrey met Ally in a coffee shop. While he just sat there reading a book, sipping his coffee, she came in with a bunch of girlfriends destroying the sanctity of the serene coffee shop. He kept reading although he couldn’t help glancing at her from the corner of his eye every now and then. She purposely made wise cracks (and she was darn good at them) and laughed hoping to grab his attention. Every person sitting or walking in and out of the café couldn’t help noticing her and in most cases admiring her. After 20 minutes the same pandemonium that irritated Geoffrey was now music to his ears. He even chuckled at a joke or two, not obviously but enough to send the message that – ‘I find you interesting! As it usually happens (in case of all the ES’s of the world) it was she who made the first move. After passing witticisms on certain current affairs (to prove that she’s smart and worldly) (Geoffrey obviously reacted to them – to show that HE was smart and worldly) as she walks past him to fetch the ‘news paper’ she comments on the book he’s reading and then eagerly, without any reason at all, states her point of view on a particular character. He looks up with a calm smile (inside him of course his heart does summersaults followed by the rumba). He in turn lays down his theory about the same character. Ally’s heart skips a beat – ‘Wow such insight!’ 3 days later they’re found talking on the phone for hours into the night and 1 week later both are going insane trying to contain their feelings for each other. Again, like all the ES’s of the world :-) Ally utters the 3 magic words first. Geoffrey in spite of his rock solid determination not to rush in, gives in and from that day on they become one of the most enviable couples you would ever come across! 

Experience seekers

In most cases she has just turned 20 or in her early 20’s and sooner or later she IS going to realize that she has time to ‘explore’ many more relationships. In other cases she’s in her 30’s and has already made up her mind about never ‘settling down’ in life. In the best case scenario I hope you (my man) are just as young too. If by any chance the difference between your ages is too much, then my friend, you’re in for it! A steep fall awaits you. By the end of it you’re sure to be chewed up and spat out! Then it’s up to your ability of getting over things.

She will change you. Before you know it you’d already be making changes in your life and your lifestyle to suit hers. Nope! To ‘please her’. By the second month the both of you would have already named your non existent kids and zeroed in on the area of your prospective residence. She will actually inspire you to dream more. She will make sure no inhibitions or insecurities hold you back. She would even be possessive about you, making you feel so special at times :) Not to mention the rocking sex – life that would have you addicted to her like cocaine (alright even more!). You WILL try to match her ‘super powers’ with your intensity and commitment. Why, she would even appreciate that about you! Her friends would envy the two of you. There would be passion, plans, dreams and destiny. Then we wait and watch for the ‘marginal utility’ of the relationship to run out – for her, not for you. The biggest mistake you could make HERE is leaving her alone for a week or two. In this time she realizes that she needs something ‘new’. Now her mind starts looking for an ‘excuse’ to walk away. She won’t find any because you have just been spectacularly committed. Here she takes one of the two modes:

1)      The ‘I’m not worthy of your love’ mode – where she happily demeans herself on the pretext of having done something ‘wrong’ (might be made up again). You my friend are a fool in love so you even go to the extent of agreeing to forgive her. But sadly she has made up her mind so she will throw at you –‘But I don’t think I can forgive myself.’

2)      The ‘you don’t understand’ mode – this is where she places in front of you a ‘lame’ reason as to why you two cant be together anymore. When you deem it lame and express desire to work things out, she replies – ‘You don’t understand. I know it won’t work.’ This is her way of denying you any chance of making things work.

I’m sorry for all the ‘Geoffrey’s’ of the world. A couple of months down the line Geoffrey sits in the same café unable to read because he can’t concentrate anymore. He has been totally shattered and distraught. Nothing seems to help him ‘move on’. Our perpetually upbeat effervescent Ally in the meanwhile is already EXPLORING another world altogether. Perhaps her boss or superior – the sophisticated corporate suit! You dear Geoffrey, were nothing but a mere ‘transition’ between him and her old junkie rock-star boyfriend (who is an even bigger junkie now.) The funny thing is that if you happen to talk to her again (which I think is a bad idea because it will only add to the pain) she will still smile and claim – ‘I always truly loved you’. The sad truth is that she never loved you as much in the first place. Another word of advice – If you’ve just had your heart broken by an ES then move on because while you cry every night thinking about him / her, that person doesn’t care 1 bit. They’re already on to their next ‘experience’! Next time…..as I said before –

Beware of the Experience Seeker!